epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
