Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize