i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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