I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You made out with two different species that night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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