I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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