I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
