I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
