PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
