I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
