um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
