My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
