If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
