Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
