ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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