Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
420 ftw
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize