Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
