Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
