Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
