i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
