is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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