Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
