Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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