# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
