I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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