now i know why i became what i already was.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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