i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
