I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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