So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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