I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
