I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
