im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
