Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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