Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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