Pappa wants mamma naked
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
