Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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