Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
