I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
last night I used snow as a chaser
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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