He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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