Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
