like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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