I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
