we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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