On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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