I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
