I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
