I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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