He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
