I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
either way he was missing a nipple.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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