But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Quick, to the slutcave!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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