I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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