i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
