are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
There are leaves in my underwear?
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