I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
