5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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