I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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