Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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