there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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