hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
we should paint friendship bongs
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