People in love make me want to vomit
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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