So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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