I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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