You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
