Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
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I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.