Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
