Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
