you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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