You can't special order awesome
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize