i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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