I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
