just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
